A Calm, Clear Way to Honor What Matters Most
In recovery, setting boundaries is an act of love.
Not control. Not punishment. Not revenge.
A boundary isn't a threat—it's a line you draw to protect your peace, your values, and your emotional sobriety.
You don't have to wait for a crisis to set one.
And you don't have to justify your boundary with a long explanation.
🧭 Basic Boundary Script
"I care about you, and I'm not willing to [name the behavior].
If it happens again, I will [name the action you will take].
This isn't about punishment—it's about protecting my peace."
🧘 Examples
-
"I care about our relationship, and I'm not willing to be yelled at.
If it happens again, I will leave the conversation and come back when we're both calm." -
"I love you, and I'm not willing to have drug or alcohol use in my home.
If it happens again, you won't be able to stay here." -
"I want to support your recovery, and I'm not willing to give you money.
If you need help finding resources, I'm happy to help in other ways."
👂 Tips for Holding a Boundary Well
- Be kind. Be clear. Then stop talking.
- Don't overexplain. Let your boundary stand on its own.
- Expect pushback—but don't mistake discomfort for danger.
- Reinforce calmly. Consistency builds safety.
- If you cave on your boundary, don't shame yourself—reset it with love.