Addiction as a Family Disease
The idea that addiction impacts the entire family system—not just the individual using substances—through roles, trauma, and relational patterns.
Amends
The process of acknowledging harm caused, taking responsibility, and attempting to repair trust and connection. Related to the word mend.
Apology
A spoken acknowledgment of harm caused. Different from amends, which are backed by changed behavior. A true apology is clear, sincere, and free of blame or justification.
Attachment to Outcome
A mindset focused on controlling the results of someone else's behavior, often leading to anxiety and resentment.
Boundary
A clear statement of what behavior is acceptable and what will happen if that boundary is crossed. Not a punishment—it's protection.
Codependency
Not knowing where you end and someone else begins. A pattern of over-functioning, control, and emotional fusion that blurs responsibility. Often looks like helping, but is driven by fear, guilt, or the need to be needed.
Committee Thinking
A Core Values Coaching concept describing the internal voices or "parts" that influence your decisions and reactions. Your Prime is the grounded voice of your values.
Core Values
Your deepest guiding principles. Living from them—instead of fear or reactivity—anchors long-term recovery.
Crisis Response Plan
A prepared strategy for how to respond calmly and clearly during a moment of relapse or emotional escalation.
Detachment with Love
Staying connected to your loved one without becoming enmeshed in their behavior. Letting go of control, not connection.
Emotional Sobriety
The ability to feel, manage, and respond to emotions in a healthy, value-aligned way—regardless of what's happening around you. Lack of dependence on externalities for serenity.
Enmeshment
A lack of healthy boundaries where emotional responsibilities are blurred. Often disguised as care or loyalty.
Family Roles
Common roles in families affected by addiction—such as the Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, or Caretaker—that develop as survival strategies.
Fixing
Taking over someone else's responsibilities or emotions to avoid discomfort. Often disguised as love.
Forgiveness
A personal release of resentment. It doesn't excuse harm or require reconciliation. It says, "I won't let this continue to poison my heart." Forgiveness creates safety for others and peace for yourself.
Grasping
Clinging to control, outcomes, or expectations due to fear. The opposite of gratitude and presence.
Infinite Game
A perspective that sees recovery as a lifelong practice—not something to win, but something to keep showing up for.
Listening
Offering your attention without interrupting, fixing, or defending. In recovery, listening is an act of love that makes others feel safe to tell the truth.
Living Amends
Ongoing behavior change that restores trust over time—not just a spoken apology, but a life that reflects healing.
Prime (Voice of the Prime)
In Committee Thinking, the calm, values-driven voice that leads with integrity, clarity, and grounded wisdom.
Recovery
Recovery is a life-long process of reclaiming your connection to your values, meaning and purpose — usually from a loss caused by addiction.
Relapse
A return to substance use or old behavior patterns after a period of recovery. Often part of the recovery journey—not the end of it.
Resentment
Chronic emotional tension rooted in unmet expectations. Known as "the number one offender" in many recovery texts.
Ritual
A simple, repeatable practice that anchors your values and creates emotional safety in family life.
Spiritual Intimacy
Deep connection built through honesty, presence, and shared values—not through control or forced closeness.
Spirituality (Living Close to Values)
A daily practice of aligning your life with what matters most—courage, kindness, honesty, compassion. Not about belief—it's about integrity.
Staying in Your Lane
A recovery practice of taking responsibility only for your own choices, feelings, and behavior—not someone else's recovery.
Values vs. Comfort
A central Core Values Coaching idea: growth happens when you choose to live from your values, even when it's uncomfortable.
Your Story
The narrative you carry about yourself, your family, or your loved one. It can be rewritten to reflect truth, not just trauma.